6.17.2006

Love You Tender

Browsing through Google Video, I usually check out the top 100 videos. For some reason, it's been clogged with those mentos + diet coke videos. While it certainly is entertaining the first time you see it, it becomes rather dull when every dope with a digital camcorder posts a video like he's the first one who tried it. With the exception of well orchestrated experiments, everyone should stop trying. It's old news. When I see a 60+ year old guy buy a can of diet coke for the sole purpose of watching it explode in a grandiose display, it's gotten out of hand. Did anyone even pay attention in Chemistry class?

Anyway, that's not the point.

I'm here to display something I found while browsing Google video. The so-called "Worst Music Video EVER." I found it the other day hovering at the bottom of the top 100. It wasn't there very long, because the next day, when I went to find it again, it was gone. I've watched it probably five or six times since I found it.

For two reasons.

The first being that it's near impossible for me to wrap my head around WHAT they're going for. The whole video is like an orgy of 70's and 80's era stereotypes. What is the point of the poorly choreographed dancers (seriously, it seems like they learned the moves an hour before they started taping the video)? Why is there a mirror ball when the room is so well lit? Also, these lyrics bewilder me:

Oh, you're absolutely fine
Your lips are taste of wine
I'd like to make you mine
And if I could touch your hand
This rock would turn to sand
So this is where we stand

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! Okay, I get the first three lines. She's hot, she's drunk, and you want her, but what about those last three? They just don't make sense! Sure, used seperately, in different contexts, they can help form the skeleton of a smooth love song. But, the way they're used here...it makes my head hurt.

The second reason I've watched the video so much is because it's obviously good fodder for parody. I've shown the video to my fiance, and I now sing it to her when I have the chance. It's good fun.

Oh, but there's more. In the spirit of the Star Wars Kid, there's been a remake of this video. It doesn't really have much of a humor value, but it's worth noting.

Gotta love the internet.

6.06.2006

660

[my shift key isn't working. when i press it, i get a funky looking string of characters like this qKO: or this <>P, so please bear with me on the absence of capitalization, and question marks/exclamation marks...also, i'm going to use brackets instead of parenthases.]

so, today is 6-6-06. or is it....

according to discovery channel news 'Jesuit priest Richard Leonard, director of the Australian Catholic Film Office, told the Australian press that when Christianity took over the Roman calendar in the fourth century, the monk who compiled the dates got them wrong by four years. The Church became aware of the mistake in 1582 but did not correct it to prevent the world from losing four years.

"We assume Satan knows that the sixth day of the sixth month in 2006 was in fact June 6, 2002," Father Leonard said.'

worry not, you able-minded christians. today is actually june 6th, 2010.

5.26.2006

Reds vs. Diamondbacks

Me, my fiance, and a two of our friends (who happen to be dating) went out to the ballgame tonight. It was a good time. The last time I went to a Major League game was when I was barely knee-high to a something that's small. So, I didn't really recall the finer points of a good old fashioned baseball game until we got there. Like the four dollar 20 oz. Mountain Dew, or maybe the five dollar pretzel. Ahhh, breathe it in America. Our newest pastime is capitalism!

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, and say goodbye to your 401k.

Haha, enough ranting.

In all honesty though, it was a great time. Recently (the past 5 years or so) I haven't really been into any kind of (popular) sport, but going to the game tonight brought back my old fondness of baseball. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or perhaps it was the action on the field...Possibly a combination of the two, I'm not sure, but it was definitely A+++++++ would go again!

Cincinnati lost, but I don't give a damn about who wins or loses. What I DO give a damn about is pictures. Lots and lots of pictures! Which I took, and have, to SHARE!

These aren't all I took, but these are the ones I bothered to resize.

Group shot~!!!!211!



Some pitcher guy wailing the ball



Panoramic Pitch. The ball is the white dot 1/3 of the way from the left.



A guy with a ball for a head. I call him Ballhead.



Some guy at bat swinging...the bat...



So that's that. I spoke to the future Mrs. about making this a regular thing (eventually), but downtown Cincinnati necessitates some wicked crazy driving habits. People just don't realize how dangerous those vehicles can be! Say someone is being chased by a police officer, and the guy running from the police rams the police car in a desperate attempt to get away. The guy that rams the police cruiser would get charged with "Assault with a Deadly Weapon." So it's true! Cars are machines engineered by corporations as a means of population control! You heard it here first!

5.25.2006

Welcome to the Ohio Valley

Enjoy your stay!