Awake With the Rest of the World

It's 5:30 a.m. and here I am. Greetings to those who skim through these words.

A lot has been on my mind lately, among them (and I'll make this part quick and painless) is my lack of occupation. I was fired from OG for eating a bowl of soup, and not IMMEDIATELY paying for it. Long story short, I found out later from ex-co-workers that the stunt was pulled just so they could use me as an example for the rest of the employees. I feel used and (perhaps, most importantly) broke. Funds are tight, and inner-tension is even tighter. I'm eeking through these days, but there is a nice shimmer at the end of this tunnel. In a few days I expect to receive a call from a potential employer. Hope is high, but expectations are buried in the ground somewhere.

Moving on, cause I dare not think about it, at the risk of mental destruction.

In other news, I'm listening to some Astral Projection remix tunes. Not too shabby. I'm surprised I hadn't heard them before tonight. If you like Goa/Psy Trance, and have the ability, be sure to check out their albumn "Ten." It'll make you move your body in a way that was not intended by the catholic church.

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(quick note: That little line above this text indicates that what you're about to read is lengthy, and focused on one thing. If you read the beginning of it, and don't care about what's said, just do what any normal person would do, and skip it. You'll find the rest of this weblog entry after the other line way down there somewhere.)

Yes, it's true, I've been playing Tribes a lot. Too much, probably. It's fun though. I've learned some things about online gaming via Tribes. Let me preface this little passage with a few notes; it'll set the tone much better than simply telling you what I've learned.

- Tribes is a game many years old. Probably 6 or 7, but I'm not sure.
- Tribes has many active participants. Most of whom have been around since the beginning.
- Tribes is intense.
- Tribes will determine your daily schedule without consulting you first.

Now, what I've noticed...Since Tribes is my first full-blown thrust into online gaming, it is naturally the first chance I have to observe what the community is like. Conseqeuntially, I've noticed there are 3 main types of people in Tribes:

- The n00bs/newbs/noobs
- The elitists
- The laid-back, "Yeah man, whatever." guys.

The n00b/newb/noob

We all know this player. He's the one who runs around and tries to kill people on his team because he honestly believes that is who he's supposed to kill. That phase usually lasts about 10 minutes, and it ends with them dropping from the game probably because they're frustrated they can't kill anyone. Sorry guys, this isn't a deathmatch. It's capture the flag. We work together here.

As this player progresses, they become more of a nuisance because now they're running around shooting objects that don't need to be shot. Like their teams generator. There's no better way to say "HEY! I'M THE NEW GUY! LOOK A' ME!!" than trying to kill your own gen. This is also the same phase in which the player camps in his base for no apparent reason other than to put mines in the weirdest places.

Fast forward about a week, and you have a player who is now roaming the vast landscapes of Tribes, typically as a sniper. Don't ask me why, but all players go through a sniper phase (If you didn't, then good for you. Have a lolli-pop.). They fumble around with their sniper rifle, and have trouble hitting anything other than air. This is just an adjustment period where they have to get familiar with leading their target. However, you are not to, under any circumstances, confront a noob sniper when he's camping on a far away hill. If you do, he becomes erratic and can cause serious harm to himself. All too often do I see noob snipers fall to their death because they flip-out way too hard when I approach them.

As the noob learns the tools of the trade, and excels at some particular area of Tribes, he will more-than-likely evolve into one of the following players.

The elitist

This is the guy who: picks on noobs just for being new to the game, trashes bases when there are only 5 people total on the server, kills people right when they spawn, complains (read: blames his team) when his side is losing, is too competitive for anyone's benefit...You know, the list really does go on, but I'll sum it up with one statement: The elitist, while generally good at the game, provides nothing positive for the gaming atmosphere.

The laid-back, "Yeah man, whatever." guys.

This guy. Yeah. He makes the game fun. He doesn't care who wins or loses (he may get a little competitive, but, hey, who doesn't?). He just wants to get from the game what it's developers intended. Fun. You'll probably find yourself wanting to be on his team because he's good, and provides some decent conversation when there's down-time.

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Okay, I guess this is the part where I sum up some loose-ends...

I know I didn't cover everything...This is all just randomly coming out of my head, so be cool. People are gonna play how they're gonna play, and what I outlined above are the basic extremes I've noticed.
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If you've read this far, relax, it's almost over.

If you skipped to the end of that little Tribes tangent, then shame on you.

Now, back to the weblog entry....

I've come to the conclusion that I'll never fully understand what the hell I'm doing when it comes to relationships. Not friend-like relationships. I'm talking about the "hugging, saying 'I love you' and meaning it in thatway, giving flowers just cause, and kissing upon the brow when parting company" kind of relationships. Emotions run high, as does the temperature of the person's skin when it's next to yours, and you're left with a feeling that very closely resembles crawling into a nice warm (or cold if that's your thing) bed when you're dead tired. It's a feeling that, when you attain it, you want to forever keep it in a place that only you can find so that no one else can taint it. Maybe in your deepest, most inner-thoughts.

Wishful thinking, though, as reality often forbids such actions.

I refer to a portion of the final stanza of Edgar Allan Poe's piece, "A Dream Within A Dream"

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep–while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?

We, us, our attempts, our actions, our lack of action, our apathy...That is the grasp.

The love, the bond, the essence of the relationship...That is the sand.

Time...That is the pitiless wave.

Now, I'm left to determine if I should piece that together like I have it in my mind, or if it is better left to the reader to determine my meaning. I suppose if you have questions, just ask...


Hmmm...I've been writing this for an hour now...I suppose I'll wrap it up.

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*tape*
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