On the Matter of Tipping:

As I'm sure my faithful readers (*chuckle*) are aware of, I'm currently employed as a server at Olive Garden. It's through this vocation that I've become aware of the eccentricities that accompany working in a restaurant. Included in these is the forgotten art of tipping. Let me lay down a few points before I continue:

1 - Servers in restaurants like the one I work in typically earn an hourly pay that is far less than minimum wage.
2 - Thus, Servers depend on their tips for living.
3 - Therefore, servers don't necessarily care about you as much as they care about their tips.
4 - So, logically, any good service you receive is intended to be exchanged for a good tip.

Now that I have that out of the way, let me break down tipping for you. If everything goes good during your meal, then a tip that roughly equals 15 percent of the total bill is customary. Let me clarify what "everything goes good" means. If: your food arrives in a timely manner; your drinks are refilled (maybe you'll need to ask for it, but that happens. Cut us some slack.); and any unforseen problems are dealt with in a professional manner, then your server is worthy of that 15 percent tip.

If service is great then you'll want to tip 18 percent. You can usually tell great service by all things from the "good service" category being performed, accompanied with: a constant smile on the persons face; sounding thoroughly interested in anything you feel like you have to talk about; actually laughing at your jokes no matter how un-funny they are...though some may be funny, don't press your luck; and filling your drinks without you having to ask. That's great service. Most of the servers I work with (myself included) typically perform this kind of service with every party we are sat, but all-too-often do we deal with persons ignorant to the concept of tipping. Tipping me 4 dollars on a 30 dollar check when, on 3 occasions, I had the bread guy make you breadsticks without butter and garlic does not cut it.

If your server provides the absolute best dining experience you've ever had, do more than just tell them they're a great server. Plop a few extra bucks on top of the 18 percent they deserve. Money speaks louder than a comment we've heard many times before. Believe it or not, servers EXPECT to get a crappy tip when people compliment us. It happens to me almost every time someone compliments me. It's almost like a jinx, or a curse...

What people also need to be aware of is that they are not the only table we're waiting on. At OG, I'll serve you and two other tables. Depending on what part of the restaurant I'm in, and how the Hosts are seating me, I might not be able to rush out those breadsticks and salad refill as fast as you'd like. Believe me, though, I put your request in queue and I'll get to it when I can. This is a problem that most people don't know how to deal with. Apparently, I'm not supposed to be waiting on any other tables...Why not just castrate me now?

Every time I work, I never stop to do anything for myself. I never use the bathroom (seriously), I rarely get anything to drink, and I NEVER get anything to eat while I'm working. We don't get breaks when we work, because there's always the chance that we'll get sat. So, we have to be on our toes the entire time. Most of the people we serve are unaware of this. Like, today for instance (though this happens every time I work), I worked from 11:30 to 4:30 with no break. While that may not seem like much time to work (just 5 hours for those of you who don't feel like subtracting), you need to take into consideration that I was constantly walking (and sometimes running) without stopping to do anything besides give people their food.

While this post may sound like I'm ranting and raving about my job, believe me, it's FAR more than that. Serving is one of the most popular jobs among people my age, but it is also one that people are most ignorant about (and, no, I'm not calling people ignorant...simply un-informed). Sure, I may be biased, but I now realize this is something EVERYONE needs to know about. Not for my sake, but for the sake of any person involved in a tipped profession. Be they servers, pizza delivery guys, or bartenders. Tip them, and tip them well. When they know where the money is coming from, they will focus on ensuring your happiness.

Shpadoinkle...

So, what have I been up to lately?

Only playing the best frickin' game in the world!! Tribes is my new addiction. Please don't plan an intervention for me because I'll be too busy playing Tribes to show up. ;)

I have something else to post, but I wanted to get that out of the way first...

Amendments to the Top Five Lists

So I decided to stay up for another half hour so I could satisfy my rule of 3's for sleeping. If you're unfamiliar with my rule (introduced to me by someone I can't remember), I'll summarize: Always sleep in intervals of 3 hours. Be it 3, 6, 9, or (in extreme cases) 12 hours, you will find that you are capable of making it through the day with minimal tiredness. Perhaps it only works for certain people, but I've found that it works very well for me.

Anyway, the point of my post...I'm going to update some of the Top Five Lists I posted a little while back. You can expect these things to change almost constantly. I just like it that way. Anyway...The updated lists will only show the changes to the previous lists. If selections are left out, they have remained the same. If a new selection is listed, and the old selection that held that particular position is not listed, then the old selection was stricken from the list entirely. If I wish for the old selection to remain on the list, I will post it's new place on the list.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Top Five Movies One Must See (and enjoy) Before I Can Consider Them "Properly Exposed:"

4. Cannibal! The Musical
2. Team America: World Police

Top Five Artists Everyone Must Be Familiar With: (the category itself is amended to only encompass artists)

5. Flogging Molly
4. Irish Rovers
3. DVDA
2. Group-X
1. Mr. Bungle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything else remains the same. Time for sleep...After I listen to a few more DVDA songs.

You Guys Don't Even Know What It Means To Be A Trapper!

I'm not entirely sure, but I feel like I need to post something in here. Not like anyone reads this, right?

So, it's about 6:30 a.m. and I'm due in at Olive Garden in 5 hours. I've had no sleep, and I'm not tired. Through past experience, I can tell that I will become increasingly tired towards the 10 o'clock hour, and will thusly be unable to sleep because I'll be incapable of waking up when necessary. How fortunate...

Tonight was pleasant, though. I was scheduled to work, went in just a little late (as per usual), and was told that I didn't have to work. Apparenly scheduling got messed up and they put down one more person than they needed. Luckily, that person was me. How fortunate...again...

I've been listening to DVDA a lot lately (here I go with the style of comments typical for blogs...I hate that...). They really are a great band. Their versatility amazes me. Though, most of the songs I prefer to listen to were composed by Trey Parker (namely, songs from the "Cannibal! The Musical" soundtrack)...So, I suppose one could say that I've been listening to Trey Parker, and that HIS versatility amazes me. Oh well. Po-tay-toe, Po-tah-toe.

I've learned how to play the two songs that I find myself listening to over and over: "America, Fuck Yeah" and "The Trapper Song."

While reviewing this post before actually posting it, I've come to the conclusion that I need to actually think of something interesting to post before I post it. Sure, using this thing as a sort of journal is nice, but, let's be honest here...You don't want to read about the music I'm listening to. Seriously. The only person who cares about that is me...and maybe someone who's hanging out in my apartment or riding with me in my car. Not like those situations ever arise, but I wanted to cover my bases.

I'm starting to get tired, so I guess I'll squeeze in a few hours before work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. - I apologize for how mundane this post is.

P.P.S. - It will never happen again.

P.P.P.S. - ...hopefully.

Fear and Loathing in Hanover

So, it's the day after a party-type atmosphere. At least, it seemed like a party. Though there were only 7 of us there, it was still ripe with laughter and enjoyment by most everyone.

At first, there were 8: the aforementioned 7, plus Dallas. We all gathered like the old days of high school. It seemed like nothing had changed. Though, I have to admit it was a bit strange to see Tim and Kasie with a baby. I guess it's just one of those "growing up" things I have to get used to. Anyway, we all set out to Hometown Pizza where we sat, ate, and talked. If memory serves (and it usually does), I had 6 cups of coffee, plus one glass of mountain dew. I was feeling pretty good. After an hour or so of reminiscing and catching-up, we all headed to the one place everyone is sure to have a good time. That's right...I'm talking about the one and only Bowling Alley.

Some dude I remember from high school was working the counter. I kind of felt sorry for him. While we were bowling, our lane kept fucking up. So, ol' dude at the counter had to jump on his walkie talkie so he could get his boys in the back to go to work on our lane. Five minutes later, we had a fully operational bowling lane...for about 10 minutes. All in all, bowling sucked, but it was all made much better by the kick ass game of Cut-throat played by Zach, Tim, and I. It was a good one.

After the game, it was "so, Eric, tell us what kind of alcohol you want so we can get it for you" time. I hadn't thought about it, but I knew I had to go all out tonight. For some reason, the only thing that could come to mind, and actually be agreed upon by myself, was vodka. I love the vodka...and it loves me back. I've never once been sick off vodka, but I have certainly been extremely EXTREMELY drunk off it. I believe last night was a testament to that.

Bearing in mind that I haven't really had a night of hardcore drinking in a while (I'd say a year or so), it might surprise you to know that I finished my pint of vodka in about 2 hours. Sure, in the past I could drink a fifth in one night, but all those fifths could not come close to the feeling of victory I had over my little Smirnoff tumbler bottle. It was one of those "Eric's BACK!" kind of feelings. Happiness abound.

That is, until the realization of "Hey...Me and Zach are the only single people here...That sucks..." came around.

I'm sure the negativity was amplified by the potato-based spirit, but I didn't really care. I just cared about being alone, and how completely shitty it was.

I was talking to Zach and he gave me one of the best pep-talks I've ever received from someone who locked themself in the bathroom so they could catch a mouse. He said something along the lines of:

"Man, what you're feeling right now is normal. It might take a few weeks, or a few months of being single, but eventually you're just gonna be happy to be single."

Word.

Now, while it really has nothing at all to do with anything, I feel I should relay one of the more interesting events from last night. There was a group of us outside on the landing (kind of like a small porch that's about 4 feet by 4 feet) by the back door. Leaning on the landing was a thick piece of wood. I don't remember exactly, but I'd guess it was something like 8 inches wide, and 2 or 3 inches thick. Anyway, it was leaning on the landing like a kind of ramp. I don't know who initiated it, but someone thought it would be a good idea to get a group of people on this piece of wood, and see if we could find the center of gravity (see...This is what happens when a bunch of geeks get drunk. We do physics experiments.). At one point, I recall Zach, Sarah, Brandon, and myself all on this piece of wood trying to not shift our weight too much as to throw the system off balance. Though not everyone was there everytime we did this, I do know for a fact that I partook in the experiment for about 45 minutes, total. It was fun, and I certainly laughed my ass off a lot. I think we kept the system in equilibrium for a few brief moments, but nothing long enough to actually say that we fully accomplished our goal. By the way, it gets MUCH more interesting if you're holding your drink in one hand, and trying to not spill it.

On a side note, Saturday Night Live is nothing like it used to be. There are too many new faces on the show, and the bad part is, when I see the faces, they're not funny. I see no future Mike Myers', Eddie Murphy's, or Chevy Chase's coming from this line-up. Also, if there's one thing that you must never EVER forget in life, it's that Bono is, and always will be, the main focus of the performance.

As the evening wound down, and the last drinks were taken, I found myself on in the living room with Zach watching Farenheit 9/11. I vaguely remember key parts of the movie, and I didn't catch all of it because I fell asleep, but I've made it MORE of a point to actually sit down and watch it sometime. I can never fully immerse myself in anything (aside from music...both listening to, and performing) when I'm drunk.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since this week brings about Thanksgiving, I don't think I'll post anything else until I get back from home. It's a sad state of affairs when you go home for Thanksgiving and intend to spend the majority of your time AWAY from home. Perhaps my sense of family values hasn't kicked in yet...

Until next time.