Vietnam Vet and the Irish Setter

About a week ago, I was in the photo-lab working the night shift by myself. It was a slow night, as most nights have been recently. It just doesn't seem like picture processing is on the top of people's list of important things to do, anymore.

Around 7 o'clock, I see a skinny, haggard, 50-something male walk up to the counter. In his hand, a strip of four 35mm negatives. I greeted him with the usual "Hi sir, how are you today?" tone I greet most customers with. His response was a simple, yet slightly sullen "okay."

He proceeded to ask me if I could make a reprint for him, and pointed to the actual negative he wanted made. I took a look at the negative and immediately noticed an immense amount of dust, dirt, and what can be best described as "gunk" on the negative in question. I told him it was kind of dirty, and paused for a second to observe his reaction. His response can best be described as that of a child who wanted nothing more than to get that really kick-ass present for Christmas, but when the morning came, it wasn't there. My heart dropped as I was looking him over. His eyes were on the counter, staring at the negative. On the negative, a clear image of a dog. Though my observation of his behavior lasted no more than 2 or 3 seconds, I gathered a lengthy story of woe.

In the most positive tone I could muster, I assured the man that I would do what I could to ensure this negative gets cleaned up and produces a wonderful picture. The man produced a gracious smile, looked at me and said, with a great deal of relief, "Thank you." My pleasure sir.

Cleaning the negative was a chore. I had to spray cleaner on it, wipe it off, and pick at it several times before it was able to be processed. Luckily I didn't damage the negative in my cleaning frenzy. I slipped the negative into the negative mask on our printer, adjusted the color levels, and gamma corrected for about 2 minutes before I was satisfied with the outcome. Typically, for reprints, I do minimal adjustments. Usually, it's just enough to make the picture look good. Not this time, though. I was going to ensure this man was absolutely satisfied with what I produced for him.

I printed out a sample 4x6 to see if he liked what I did with the picture. When I laid it down on the counter, he replied with an astonished "Oh wow..." He gripped his hand into a fist and put it up to his mouth as if he were kissing his index finger. Wearing a hat, and staring down at the picture, I couldn't see his eyes. I stood silent for a moment.

"...this is amazing."
"Thank you very much sir." I paused. Half waiting for him to say something, and half thinking of a way to make things better. " You know, sir. We have a special going on right now for our enlargements. If you'd like, I could make you an 8x10 for just one dollar." We had no such special going on.
"Can you make it look just like this?" He spoke with anticipation, but looked at me with desperation.
"Oh, this is just something I whipped together for you to preview. I'll give the 8x10 my special touch." I replied with a smile.
"I'd like that. Thank you so much."
"My pleasure sir."

Yes, I really say "sir" that much. My days of serving made it habitual.

With the 8x10 I spent close to 5 minutes cleaning the negative, and adjusting gamma and color levels. A 4x6 typically keeps minor imperfections out of sight, but an 8x10 can bring out even the tiniest dust particle.

The 8x10 finished printing, and I placed it on the counter for his approval. He said nothing, but once again, his hand was at his mouth, and his hat was covering his eyes.

"This is beautiful...I mean...I...*deep sigh* Wow."
"Thank you sir. I did the best I could."
He paused to collect his thoughts, "Ya know, he lived 18 years."
Knowing a bit about dogs, I've learned that if they live longer than 10 years, they're lucky. That's just been my experience, "Really? Wow. That's quite a long life for a dog." I really didn't know how best to respond to that. I was doing my best to maintain the customer/employee relationship.
"After I got home from Vietnam, he was the first thing I saw. He wasn't even mine." It was apparent he was fighting back tears, but he wanted this dog's legacy to be known, "He was with me all the time, everywhere I went. No matter how I was feeling, he was there. He was the best friend anyone could ever ask for." The shear power and conviction the man's words moved me in a way I never have been. I remained silent. He stopped to reflect on the life that was laying in front of him. "How much do I owe you?"
"A dollar, six, sir."

He paid, thanked me, and exited the store.

As I sat there in the photo-lab by myself, I started thinking about the nightmare that was Vietnam. I don't know personally, but many a story has been shared regarding the hell that it was. Then I thought about this man's first sight upon returning home from that war. The Irish Setter puppy that he took in, gave a home, and shared a bond with that only he will know. I had to push the tears back for the yuppie customer that just walked up to the counter.

"Are you still doing one hour?" She said in a pissy tone.
"No, sorry." We were, but I knew I didn't want to deal with any of her shit. She scoffed, rolled her eyes, and walked out of the store.
"Probably just meaningless shots you took trying to be artistic, asshole..." She was already in her car, but I wanted her to hear my words. "Try doing something with emotion, if you know what that is."

Too many people stop to take pictures of roses, but you have to wonder if they ever actually tried smelling them.

Pseudoephedrine runs my life

Oi...I'm sick again. Sinus Infection. It hurts. My nose. My throat. It all hurts. Bad.

Today I had to work, while not really working. I get into the lab about 30 minutes early to pick up my check and grab some pain relieving medicine, only to find one of my co-workers completely frantic, and running back and forth between the film processor and the phone. She was talking to Noritsu (the company that maintains our machines) and was being instructed on how to save the three rolls of film that were stuck in the chemistry.

At the time, I had just taken a lot of medication to prepare me for my shift, so when I saw her running around all crazy-like, I just ducked past her and grabbed my check. When I got back to the lab, she was behaving more normal. Probably because she put up a sign that read "ONE HOUR OUT OF ORDER" right next to the envelopes. Hell, it made me smile when I saw it.

Apparently, a leader card got bent up at the very end of the processing cycle and jammed the rollers. The roll of film that was coming in behind the first two rolled on top of the first leader card, worstened the jam, and totally fucked our machine up.

Naturally, my co-worker left promptly at 3 o'clock, leaving me to deal with all this. Though this move was pretty shitty on her part, I'm kinda glad she called the people whose film may, or may not, be totally fucked. I didn't want to deal with THAT too.

Assured in the fact that I could turn away one hour requests, I rolled up my sleeves (figuratively) and wrestled the machine (literally) until about 6 pm. I was only interrupted twice by customers who needed reprints made (not counting the countless amount of people that came in wanting one hours done). 3 hours. 2 customers. It doesn't take a fucking degree in business management to know that we were dead. Quite fortunate if you ask me, the sick and over-labored employee. So, I got all the film out. It was ruined. Residual chemicals formed a gooey layer on either side of all three rolls. Attempting to clean them just made it worse. The only thought that ran through my head when I realized the futility in trying to clean the film: "At least I don't have to tell the customer." Is that bad?

So, there I am. 6 o'clock with nothing to do, and 3 more hours left to do it. I was reduced to humming catchy tunes, and reading decades old photography books.

I call my boss around 7:30 to see if I can close the lab down at 8 (an hour before typical closing. Not an unreasonable question, considering the circumstances). He said no.

No amount of nouns, adjectives, or verbs can describe the anger and hatred I felt toward that man, at that point in time. I sucked it up, though, and said "*Napoleon sigh* Alright." followed by a very abrupt slamming down of the receiver.

Needless to say, I made it through until 9. I rushed back to my apartment where, as sure as the Sun doth shine, my glorious computer was waiting for me.

So, here I am. 10 o'clock with just enough to do, and tonight and tomorrow (day off bitch!) left to do it.

Next time on Net_Eric: Vietnam Vet, and the Irish Setter.

A Tale of Three Browsers

Recently I made a switch from Avant Browser to Firefox. Before I get any flames from rabid Firefox supporters, I should make it known that I tried Firefox about a year ago, but it just didn't rev my engine like Netcaptor did at the time.

Tracing my alterna-browser history back to high school, I recall that I made the switch from IE to Netcaptor around my 10th grade year. It was my holy grail of web browsing. I was introduced to Netcaptor by the network administrator of our district when I would hang out in the server room and shoot the shit with him. When dry moments would pop up in the conversation, he would browse around in this foreign application I had never seen before. He would click and open up new websites, but he never added another button to his taskbar.

"What IS this glorious application," I thought to myself.

At the time, I was a bit intimidated by this guy. I mean, I was an aspiring computer geek (yeah, quite a lofty goal to set one's sights on, eh?) and this guy knew his shit. I wasn't about to just come out and ask a dumb question like: "Gee, what program is THAT?"

I wasn't about to come off as a n00b.

So, I did what seemed to be the best approach. I snuck a peek at the program title positioned top of the screen, and rushed off to hurriedly write it down before I forgot proper spelling and capitalization (NetCaptor). Impatiently waiting for that 3 o'clock bell to ring, I was anticipating a glorious monument to efficiency, or, on the other hand, a horrific awakening into my non-savvy world.

Maybe this was a program only the leetest of the leet used, and a fledgling computer user with mere months of experience under their belt (such as myself at the time) just wouldn't get it.

I hoped for the best, and I prepared for the worst.

Arriving home, and immediately connecting to the internet, I recall google taking an ETERNITY to load. Maybe it was my terrible back-woods location coupled with the agonizingly slow dial-up service we had, or perhaps it was my impatience which had grown from nervous knee-bouncing, to unprovoked, angry shouting.

"LOAD GODDAMNIT!"

Google hesitated, but soon complied. I frantically entered my search query and hit enter. A deluge of blue links graced my screen, but I only needed one. The first one. It's description read: "Internet browser for power-users that opens sites in separate tabs."

It was for times like this that the term "Eureka" was coined.

Looking around the Netcaptor site, I immediately found a "Download Now" link, and did just that. Sort of...

Dial-up is a vile mistress that I am pleased to say I never have to rendezvous with again. I (and I may regret saying this later...) would rather do without internet access than go back to dial-up again.

There was no "Download Now" option for me. No, for me, it was more like "Click this link and curse the town you live in for being too small for DSL, now."

~30 minutes later, I'm able to install my newly acquired application. Thank the heavens above and all that jazz for not disconnecting me during the download. That would've been a broken mouse waiting to happen.

Installation was complete, and now I was ready to see what Netcaptor had to offer. It didn't take long for the holy shit moment to take hold.

I was not only able to browse in a more sleek and sexy browser, I was able to do all of this while taking up one insignificant slot on my taskbar thanks to tabbed browsing. I had no way to describe the amount of freedom I felt at the time, but now that I've read more into NADD, I believe it was my earliest introduction into fast, efficient, and convenient information indulgence on the internet. Holy shit, indeed.

Flash forward 4 years. I'm in my fourth semester of college, and Netcaptor fucks up. Luckily, it was in the middle of the semester and there wasn't an urgent research project I had to attack. I thought long and hard about what to do. Should I upgrade to the newest Netcaptor and hope it gives the same pleasure as the original?

I hadn't upgraded from my initial installation version because I was WAY too content with it to give it all up for unnecessary bells and whistles the newest releases promised.

No, I wasn't going to upgrade. I felt my time with Netcaptor was well-spent, and perhaps it was a signal (No, it wasn't a fucking SIGN. The stars don't determine my destiny. Shut up.) to move on to something more suited to my taste.

So, I researched.

I shamefully admit that I used IE to perform my alterna-browser research, but, hey, what else was I going to do in that situation? Netcaptor was belly-up, and I was desperate.

First, I tried Firefox, but it's system of downloading extensions for customization just didn't suit me. I wanted everything pre-packed and ready to go. No extra work for me, buddy! I'm a busy college student! I got beers to drink, and bong hits to take.

It was through MajorGeeks that I learned about Avant Browser. A freeware application that pimped tabbed browsing. Tabbed browsing, you say?! Why, SURE I'll give it a try!

Entering into my session with Avant Browser like a SWAT team would enter a building locked down by crazed gunmen, I double-clicked the new icon on my desktop. Within seconds, I was greeted by a flashy splash screen, to which my initial reaction was "pfft...Unnecessary eye-candy." Call me a purist. Call me an idiot. Either way, I had my standards, and they were being challenged.

Avant Browser loaded; The interface was sexy. I was reluctant to admit it at first, but it was definitely more sexy than Netcaptor. Trying not to get distracted by the fluff, I started browsing. It didn't take long for me to warm up to the interface of Avant Browser because it behaved very much like Netcaptor after a few adjustments in the options menu. I realized what I was doing by making Avant behave like Netcaptor, but I didn't care. I liked my new browser, and it was going to do what I wanted it to do. Net_Eric was pleased, and the world rejoiced.

Flash forward to one week ago, or ~1.5 years after the previous incident. Avant Browser just didn't do it for me anymore. I was having trouble with javascript, and there were many other minor problems I just didn't want to acknowledge. Individually, they were benign and capable of being ignored. Collectively, they were the bane of my internet presence.

So, I researched.

This particular stint of research wasn't so much acquisition of knowledge as it was checking up on weblogs I frequent. Okay, so yeah, I was slacking. Anyway, I was reminded of Firefox while reading the newest entry on Wil Wheaton dot net. One of his links was a button which read: "The browser you can trust." Reminded of my browser woes, I clicked the link with much aplomb.

I looked around the website and liked what I saw. Essentially, it was the same browser I had experienced roughly a year prior to this, but for some reason I was intrigued. Perhaps it was the tabbed browsing...

So, I downloaded.

Upon installation, my first objective was to get a new theme. The default look of Firefox rubbed me the wrong way, and I was happy I could customize it to suit my taste. +1 point to my opinion of Firefox.

After playing around with Firefox, I quickly learned that it's tabbed browsing was foreign to that of Netcaptor and Avant. I decided to deal with it. -1 point to my opinion of Firefox. Total Score: Apathy.

For a week now, I've been using Firefox for all my browsing needs and I've come to appreciate this new system of tabbed browsing. I've also gained appreciation for the ability to customize like mad. I CAN CONTROL WINAMP FROM MY BROWSER??!!1 JESUS GOD TELL ME MORE!!

To sum everything up, though, things are going great. I honestly don't think I could be much happier with my browser than I am now. Sure, nothing will ever have the magical first impression that Netcaptor had, but I can find solace in knowing that there are programmers out there who know what I'm looking for. To show my appreciation for such a great browser, I've decided to throw a button up so I can do my part in spreading the word.

Civilization III - Recounting through 1600 AD

I've had Civilization III for a while, probably since '01 or '02, but haven't really played it much in the past few years. Sure, I played it a lot when i first got it, but it became just another disc in the pile before long. Today, however, my interest was re-kindled after a talk with Scott. I don't quite recall the twists and turns our conversation took, but after ~25 minutes of random "catching-up" talk, we were talking about Civ III. Before long, he had his disc in his CD player listening to the soundtrack, and I had my disc in the CD-ROM preparing a new game.

"Scott, what size map should I pick?"
"How many GHz you have?"
"Uhhh, well, no GHz really...Well, I guess you could say .7 GHz"
"*laughing* Just pick the one below Gigantic."
"Huge?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Now the tough one...What should I pick for my land distribution?"
"*thinking* Why don't you just play the Earth map?"
"(minor Holy Shit moment) ...good fucking idea."

I picked the Greeks, because I ALWAYS pick the Greeks. I've had a perpetual hard-on for Alexander the Great's epic life since my latter years of high school. It just seems natural to have an inclination for taking his role in my fictional conquest of the planet.

I set 5 random opponents, adjusted some of the victory conditions, and started the game.

When you start the game, you have a settler (used for establishing towns/cities) and a worker (basically a slave laborer who builds roads, mines, and cuts down forests...among many other things), and you're surrounded by blackness (AKA the Fog of War). I like the idea of not being able to see everything because it forces you to explore the terrain around you, while also keeping you oblivious to the actions of your "opponents". Overall, though, this is really just another facet of realism in a fictitious environment.

Before I go into more detail, I have stop and do a small commentary on my general playing style. I move slowly. I'm not a n00b, but I have n00bish qualities in that I'm not out for complete domination from the get-go.

Back on topic.

I did some exploring, and I ended up in fucking South America. Of all the places in the world I DIDN'T want to establish myself, this was at the top of the list. Nothing against South America, but on the map in Civ III, the Andes Mountains are motherfuckers.

After some exploring, I ran into the Romans. They were pretty cool, a little too close to my civilization, but they were still cool. We exchanged territorial maps, and I was on my way.

The exploration of South America was complete, so I set my sights north. Not long before I made it through Central America I ran into the fucking Carthaginians. I hate these guys, and I don't know why. A part of me thinks it's due to the absolutely wretched looking leader I have to be diplomatic with. I wish there was an option when I was choosing the computer players that would allow "Random - EXCEPT THE FUCKING CARTHAGINIANS." Anyway, we exchanged territorial maps, and I set my warrior to auto-explore because I didn't feel like seeing Hannibal chase the poor bastard around.

I scroll down to the southern border of my now thriving empire. It appears as if the Romans recognize my little "anti-make-your-civilation-grow" tactic.

Allow me to elaborate.

When I spawned (that's a First Person Shooter term, I know...Not sure what to use for Strategy games like this), I ended up on the eastern edge of South America right in the heart of Brazil. After some exploring, like I said, I encountered the Romans on the southern tip of Argentina. IMMEDIATELY, I started expanding my culture west and south. My primary goal, obviously, was to eventually deny them the ability to expand.

Well, it worked.

Roman settlers were being denied passage left and right, and I was loving it. It was all fun and games until Ceasar refused to move his units from my territory THREE TIMES.

Typically, when I start a game, I tell myself "Okay Eric, we're going for a diplomatic win here. There's no need to fight, because you can just smooth-talk your way to victory. Be the liberal. Be the liberal." It never seems to work that way though.

Caesar was pushing my buttons, and I didn't like how he was pushing them. He ended up moving the units out of my boundaries, but only because he was headed north to establish a settlement.

Awww hell naw!

Needless to say, the settlement soon became rubble, and the Greeks and Romans were at war. The entire time leading up to the first battle I was sure to stay buddy-buddy with Hannibal up north (I saw the impending war coming on a few turns in advance) because I knew it would be very bad to get gangbanged when you're pinched between your enemies, and one of them is a very furry, un-kept man. MORE MONEY, HANNIBAL?! SURE, WHATEVER YOU WANT BIG GUY!!

So, Hannibal was happy and Caesar was crying something about a peace treaty after the first 5 towns were taken over. I ignored him and mumbled something to myself about how Caesar should thank his settlers for the demise of his empire. Overthrowing an empire isn't something I step into lightly. I'm very meticulous, and when things don't go how I expect them to, I get angry.

I produced all of the necessary attacking units and positioned them outside each one of his key cities. When the time was right, I attacked them all on the same turn, and then moved my campain toward the southern tip of Argentina until I'd overthrown every city. Caesar et al (HAR!) were no more, and I now have several kick-ass locations to vacation in.

After overthrowing Caesar, I decided to kick back and develop my newly acquired cities. Things are going great for them, and I'm slowly advancing north. Don't worry though, I fortified an army and choked off the majority of Central America so Hannibal can't get his fat hands on my territory. I don't care how much of North America he has control of. I'll deal with that later.

Well, here we are at 1600 AD, and I haven't even sailed the fucking ocean blue yet. Damn those Romans for forcing me into a conflict so early on.

Tune in next time when we attempt to answer the age-old question: WTF is Hannibal thinking?!

So the syndication feed didn't work.

Well, it worked, but for some reason any part of the page after the feed wouldn't load.

Wave bye-bye to it.

Watch out. I'm href crazy right now.

Well, after a short research period, and through a combination of del.icio.us and RSS Digest, I was able to get those syndicated feeds I was talking about. Now, anytime I'm browsing, all I have to do is right click on a page I find interesting and select "Post link to del.icio.us" and boom, it shows up here too.

Goddamn, I love the internet.

More Shit Goin' Down

Alright. The majority of renovations are over. Most notably:

• Added the Trackback indicator. I doubt anyone ever has any interest in my posts, let alone enough interest to actually fill up their weblog space with stuff I say, but I'm prepared JUST IN CASE PEOPLE READ MY SHIT AND LIKE IT. HI EVERYONE.


• Changed the domain from gottheit.blogspot.com to interneteric.blogspot.com. It's longer, but it's a better representation of what I got going here. I tried to pick neteric.blogspot.com but someone already picked it. Through years of dealing with already-taken screen names when signing up for many a site, I've grown used to this. However, in this situation, it's a member who isn't active anymore. His first post was at the tail end of August 2004, and his second post (AKA, his LAST POST) was at the beginning of September 2004. I, on the other hand, make it a point to stay active with it. I deserve that fucking name. RALLY BEHIND ME EVERYONE. NETERIC.BLOGSPOT.COM MUST BE MINE!


• I added that quote by Rands (top of the sidebar to the right) to kind of say "Hey, I'm just here to be me. If you don't care for what I have to say here, you probably wouldn't be my friend in real life." Now that I look at past commenting statistics, it doesn't seem like anyone cares. Oh well. I still do, and that's who I'm writing for.

I'm still looking into that syndication-type listing of headlines from weblogs and news sources I read. I may very well have to break down and e-mail someone for tips.

To be quite honest, though. I'm never really satisfied with a layout. I'll probably continue tweaking and moving shit around until I end up with an entirely different layout. It's a vicious cycle, but it fuels my need to create.

Some Much Needed Mojo

I'm not going to give too much away just so I don't jinx anything, but I'm going to be applying for a position I'd love to have at a place I'd love to work at. Any and all positive energy you care to send my way, please do. When I find out either way, I'll post with more info.

On a happier, less stressful note, I've contracted littledeviltoo, one of my chronies from DeviantART.com to put together a nice little piece to replace that sky over there. I'm eager to see what she comes up with.

Also, you'll notice the links to the right are gone. I did this as a quick fix to a problem with the CSS that I couldn't figure out (I admit, I'm not too savvy, but I can do SOME things). So, my solution was to put them in a post, and just put a link to the individual post they're in. Hey, it works. Anyway....The problem I ran into with the links placed on the right side was that, anytime the main body was too short (like looking at an individual post's page), all the links would push to the far left side of the page. I'm sure fixing it would have been simple...Probably just forcing some right justification or something...But, again, I'm a moron. Besides, I think my solution made things a bit more tidy. Also, this way they're much easier to edit than sifting through the code for the weblog. Now I just have to edit the post. Very simple stuff. See...Yeah. That's what I had in mind all along. It was all an attempt to make things more efficient. yeah...

I'm retarded.

Links

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Spring Cleaning -OR- Some Shit Be Goin' Down Here

I've obviously been playing around a bit with the layout. Call me lazy, or uninspired, but the layout you're looking at isn't a custom made design. It's a template I ran across and decided it was very much the look I wanted for this weblog. Other than the obvious, though, I'm going to be changing some more things in an attempt to make things more in tune with my tastes.

• Changing that default picture to something more representative of myself. Although, the sky is pretty cool, it doesn't really fit the scheme if you ask me.


• I'm probably going to change the domain. I'm not sure what it's going to be yet, but "got the it" is getting old and idiotic (well, it's always been idiotic, but I just ignored it). Once I decide what it is, I'll email my 4 or 5 readers and let them know what it is.


• I don't know how, but I'm going to look into adding a constantly refreshing list of links to headlines from weblogs and new sources that I read frequently. Again, just another attempt at making this weblog more personalized.


• Removing the "Music" portion from the links section. It kinda felt like it was rather unnecessary as they aren't sites I visit; They're just bands I listen to. So what, eh?


• Plus, any number of little things I decide to change while I'm thumbing through the CSS and HTML for the template.

Stick around and see what happens. I don't even know for sure, yet.

Blogger's Bungle

I have the inspiration; I have many ideas in my head. All would be excellent pieces of writing if only they could be rustled together into cohesive thoughts. Unfortunately, all I seem to have are flaky ideas. Like little kids who get joy out of smashing pennies, these ideas are meandering on and off the railroad tracks and leaving distinguishable artifacts of their presence. Once my train of thought arrives, however, these artifacts look nothing like the originals.

...

Eh, I never was one for metaphors. My apologies.


On a completely unrelated note, May 5th marks 2 important events this year:

Happy Birthday Will.
AND
Happy Space Day.